Do You Need to be Christened to Get Married in a Church?

The short answer is usually no. Most churches will marry a couple who have never been christened. The long answer depends on the denomination, the country and the priest or pastor you ask, so it's worth knowing what to expect before you book anything.

This page covers the common rules for Catholic, Church of England and other Protestant churches, what paperwork they tend to ask for, and what you can do if one or both of you isn't baptized.

Do You Need to Be Christened to Get Married in a Church?

Not as a general rule. Christening (baptism) is a requirement in some traditions and not in others, and even within one denomination individual churches set their own approach. A church wedding is also a legal event in most places, so you'll need to meet the civil requirements as well.

Church of England

In England, baptism is not required. The Church of England allows couples to marry in a parish church if one of them lives in the parish or has a qualifying connection to it. Being baptized in that church is one way to show a connection, but it isn't the only one.

Other qualifying connections include living in the parish at some point for at least six months, regularly attending worship there for six months, or having a parent who lived in or regularly worshipped in the parish. Check the exact list with the parish before you plan around it.

Catholic Churches

Catholic rules are the strictest of the three, and they depend on who is baptized.

• Two baptized Catholics: you'll normally need recent baptism certificates (many dioceses ask for one issued in the last six months), and often proof of confirmation, plus a marriage preparation course.
• A Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic Christian: the Catholic partner needs permission from the church to marry. This is called a mixed marriage permission, and the other partner does not have to convert.
• A Catholic and an unbaptized partner: the church grants a dispensation first. The priest will explain the process, and it takes time, so start early.
• A previous marriage: if either of you was married before, the church usually asks for a declaration of nullity (an annulment) before it will celebrate a new wedding.

Policies and paperwork differ between dioceses, so speak to the parish priest as early as you can, ideally 6 to 12 months before the wedding.

Other Protestant Churches

Many Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Baptist and non-denominational congregations do not require baptism for a wedding. Some prefer that at least one of you is a member, and many ask for a few meetings with the pastor or a premarital course. These rules are set by the congregation and the pastor, so the only reliable answer is to ask.

Orthodox churches usually expect both partners to be baptized Christians and at least one to be Orthodox. Policies on same-sex weddings vary widely between denominations and between individual congregations, so ask directly and early.

Do You Have to Attend Church to Marry There?

Not always, but a connection helps. Some churches give priority to members and regular attendees. Others welcome anyone who asks. If you hope to marry in a church you've never visited, go along to a service or two, introduce yourselves to the minister and explain why the building matters to you.

What If Neither of Us Is Baptized?

You have three realistic options:

1. Ask a church that welcomes you: many parish and congregational churches will marry unbaptized couples.
2. Get baptized as an adult: adult baptism is open to anyone who wants it, and the priest or pastor can explain the preparation.
3. Hold a civil ceremony in a church building: some churches and chapels rent their space for a ceremony led by a civil celebrant or officiant. You provide the officiant, and you must follow the church's rules on music and decorations.

The Legal Side

Baptism has nothing to do with whether the marriage is legal. In the United States you need a marriage license from the county or state and an officiant authorized to sign it. In other countries the registration rules differ, and some church ceremonies also need a registrar present, so check the legal steps with the church and the local authority.

See also: Once the church is settled, choose your readings: our Catholic wedding readings and Bible wedding readings list passages by speaking time.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can an unbaptized person marry a baptized Christian in a church?

In most churches, yes. A Church of England parish church can marry you if you meet its residence or connection rules, and many Protestant churches will too. A Catholic church allows it with permission or a dispensation from the church, and the unbaptized partner does not have to convert. Ask the priest or pastor early.

Can we get married in a church if we are not religious?

Some churches will marry non-religious couples who respect the building and meet their rules, and others only marry members or believers. Ask each church directly. If the answer is no, a church that rents out its space for a civil ceremony may be an option.

How far ahead should we contact the church?

Six to twelve months before the wedding is a good target, and longer for a popular date or a Catholic wedding that needs paperwork. Early contact gives you time to complete any marriage preparation course and to gather documents.

Where do I get a copy of my baptism certificate?

Contact the church where you were baptized and ask the parish office for a recent copy. Most churches keep baptism and confirmation registers. A Catholic church usually wants a certificate issued within the last six months, so request it close to the date they ask for.

Final Thoughts

Being christened is rarely the thing that stops a couple from marrying in a church. The bigger questions are the church's own rules, any previous marriages and whether you have a connection to the congregation. Ask the priest or pastor early, bring any documents they request and expect a short preparation process.