Relationships
Strengthen your bond with your partner and maintain healthy relationships with family and friends throughout the wedding planning process.
Planning a wedding can put pressure on the relationships around you, with your partner, your parents, your friends, and the wedding party. Clear, kind communication early on prevents most of the problems that come up later.
The guides in this section offer advice on handling family opinions, thanking the people who help, and looking after your bond with your partner while you plan. Keep time for each other that has nothing to do with the wedding.
First Wedding Night Tips for Groom if Nervous
Who Gets A Say, And How Much
Most wedding arguments are about who decides, not about the decision itself. A parent who's paying for part of the day often assumes a vote on the guest list. A friend you asked to stand up with you may assume they get input on the colors. Say early, and kindly, which choices are shared and which are yours alone.
A rule that holds up well: whoever pays for a thing gets to be consulted on it, and the couple decides the rest. If your parents give a fixed amount toward the reception, it's fair to ask what they'd like to see for it. If they give it with no strings, you can say so and thank them again.
Guest List Fights
The guest list is where most of this lands, because every name has a person behind it. Two methods keep it from turning personal. Give each side an equal number of seats, so nobody argues about who has more. Then set a rule that applies to everyone, such as no one you haven't spoken to in two years, so a cut never feels aimed at one person.
Plus-ones are a smaller version of the same argument. A rule that every guest in a relationship gets one, and single guests don't, is easy to explain and hard to call unfair.
Looking After The Two Of You
The weeks before a wedding can turn every conversation into a task list. Pick one evening a week when the wedding isn't allowed in the room. Decide, before you start, that a stressful vendor call is a problem to share, not a place to take it out on each other.
If one of you is nervous about the night itself, a few honest minutes beforehand help more than any amount of planning, and this guide for a nervous groom is a good place to start that conversation. For the lighter side of the build-up, Most Likely To questions work well at a shower or on the plane to the honeymoon.